Madonna Plans New Plastic Surgery As Guy Ritchie Seeks To Marry Girlfriend Half Her Age

Madonna

Now that her ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, has moved on from sick, scheming, so-called singer, Madonna, taken up with a woman half her age that he has impregnated, Jacqui Ainsley, the neurotic pop star has become more plastic surgery obsessed than ever. Her gossiping pals have been laughing behind her back in Hollywood, regarding word of her latest planned surgeries she has been bragging about.

However, the general public and all self-respecting optometrists, should file a class action lawsuit against Madonna’s plastic surgeon, for the terrible work he has done on her. If he lifts her face any higher, her nose is going to be on her forehead. Her cheeks have been lifted so high and far apart, they are practically touching her ears. Ironically, Madonna, who has been known to perversely mimic other women, has been trying to look like Ainsley.

Guy Ritchie and Jacqui Ainsley

Ritchie is just happy to be away from Madonna, as he sacrificed his youth in marrying a terrible, misery shrew that obsessively controlled every facet of his life. He’s no saint either, having married Madonna for her connections and what he wanted her to do for his film career. He has been sued for everything he has ever made, after pilfering it from other filmmakers.

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Note To Megan Fox: Stop Playing With Your Face

Megan Fox in 2009

For over a year, the Judiciary Report, has been warning Megan Fox to stop tweaking her face with plastic surgery. Her initial nose job before her "Transformers" debut in 2007, was great, but the rest of the cosmetic surgery she's had done since, is making her look older than her age and plastic.

Megan Fox in 2011 Armani Ad

Some proof of that can be seen in the fact, Fox is no longer dominating best looking lists online and in magazines, as she once did and people are publicly commenting on the plastic surgery work that has gone too far. Fox is beautiful and didn't need all that work done.

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Barack Obama: I’m Getting Old

Stress is prematurely aging Barack Obama (But he still looks younger than Dorian Gray Lindsay Lohan)

During a speech to potential campaign donors, U.S. President, Barack Obama, let the audience in on a little secret - he's aging. Obama stated, “I don’t look that young anymore. I’m grayer, I have bags under my eyes...some of the excitement of something entirely new is not going to be there, and I’ve got some dents and dings in the fender."

Some say you are only as old as you feel. However, I metaphorically say, you're only as old as you look (and what your birth certificate says). You really thought I wouldn't slip a birth certificate joke into an article about Obama. You don't know me very well, do you.

Seriously, Obama can go the route some have in dying his gray hairs, getting Botox, fillers and plastic surgery, but at the end of the day, most people do not take politicians seriously if it is obvious they've had cosmetic work done. Discretion is key.

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Wistful Barack Obama Faces Turning 50

Lady Gaga Lies About Not Having Plastic Surgery

Lady Gaga

Over the top singer, Lady Gaga stated she has never had plastic surgery. However, before and after photos on the internet, indicate she has had work done. Particularly on her schnoze. Gaga's honker got a whole lot smaller after her first royalty check came in.

She had a Michael Jackson nose, you know, in his jheri curl days. Jackson said the nose job helped him breathe better. Well of course, he took the whole nose off for the holes to get fresh air. I'm just kidding.

Why is girlfriend lying about plastic surgery, which is so common in Hollywood. That's the reason why so many people in Hollywood look alike (black and white). They go to the same surgeons, who have the same vision of what beauty is, which sometimes equals plastic. Loads of it. As a result, everyone ends up getting the same nose, cheeks, breasts and butt (from a catalogue).

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