Pittsburgh Steeler football player, Hines Ward, has been crowned the winner of Season 12 on the television show "Dancing With The Stars." Ward, with the support of football fans behind him, was victorious over Scientologist, Kirstie Alley (I told you Xenu Is With You). Athletes have done quite well on the show, as Emmet Smith, Apolo Ohno, Kristi Yamaguchi and Shawn Johnson have won during past seasons. Congrats to Hines Ward!
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...And More Importantly Why
Kirstie Alley and Maks
Scientology is really pulling out all the stops for Kirstie Alley in trying to land her the top spot on the show "Dancing With The Stars" when she is the least rhythmic dancer. Though, I normally do not watch the show, I did today, only to see actor Ralph Macchio, who is a much better dancer, get booted in favor of Alley.
This is nothing to do with Alley's weight, because other big people have been on the show and danced well. But Alley is so clumsy. One week she fell on Maks and the next week she fell on herself. How is she winning. Are most of the calls coming from Tom Cruise's basement.
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Kirstie Alley Chokes On "Dancing With The Stars"...Again
Apparently, Kirstie Alley, the Xenu believing Scientologist, had another mishap on the television dance competition "Dancing With The Stars." Last week, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, took one for Mother Russia, as he and dance partner Alley collapsed in the middle of their routine...crashing to the floor....on national television...during a show seen by millions.
The Chokeage From Last Week
This week, Maks tossed Alley across the dance floor like a boomerang, only she didn't come back like she was supposed to. Where was Kirstie, you ask? Well, she slid forward, but her shoe simply said "no" and broke like Lindsay Lohan in a field of weed (no, weed, not weeds).
Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
As Maks spun around, like a graceful Russian swan, he noticed Kirstie on the floor, feverishly trying to fix her shoe that had flown off, like they were in the middle of the decompressed cabin of a 747. He simply grinned (you know the kind of grin where you can see all of a person's teeth) and you could sort of tell he was thinking "Payback for last week, witch!"
Of course, me being the sensitive and caring blogger I am, laughed and laughed and laughed (like last week when they fell). Never let it be said I'm unsympathetic to other people's problems. Next week, I fully expect Kirstie to land in the bandstand.
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